Living Up to Expectations

Note: this blog was originally written on 09/20/07

Okay, I am just going to throw this out there even though it's unpleasant: I'm 29. As in 7 months till 30. Yeah, that 29. I know....

I must admit I'm not necessarily anxious to face this age. My sister tells me 30 is the new 20. Movies have told me young women want to be "Thirty, flirty, and thriving." But I won't lie. I am not excited.

Without a doubt, the world has embraced age these days. People don't grow old, they just simply grow wiser and more mature. Serious relationships are supposed to be best once multiple degrees are completed and the career is well under way; then there is time to mingle. Women don't wrinkle at all; instead they become classically beautiful. Graying men make huge strides up the corporate ladder and in return drive BMWs, date college students and are viewed as studs. Retirement isn't just old folks who move to Florida and eat dinner at 3:30 in the afternoon but rather a statement of succes that they've finished their careers and can now travel to places beyond Disney World.

Sure. But can someone please tell that to the young lady at church who asked me if I was getting nervous that I'm not married yet? Now don't get me wrong, I love the idea of being married some day to my best friend, having pretty amazing kids and traveling with them as much as humanly possible. However, it bugged me when she said that. Like I had failed. Then I realized why I am not excited about being 29 right now. Expectations.

Expectations tell me I should have a successful career right now, or be married with 3 kids, or finishing up a novel I know I must have somewhere within me. Whether these expectations are self-inflicted or due to social environment, I don't know. But what I do know is that for me, normally, the unexpected paths or people that have come into my life have been ridiculously better than any expectation I've had. Jumping away from my expectations sent me to school at age 24.... to Oklahoma! And it was the greatest time of my life. Moving away from expectations sent me on spur of the moment road trips, meeting random strangers that became tremendous friends and opening exciting jobs I never knew I wanted.

I read a verse in the Bible yesterday that says, "I know that You can do all things, and that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted" (Job 42:2 ESV). I loved that. God's purpose is so much greater than my expectations. So if I can just trust in His purpose for my life, then perhaps my timelines, my expectations, won't seem so significant anymore.

So I'm telling myself not to be so hard on 29. It's not so bad; so far 29 has brought me a freakin' awesome tattoo, a move back to Phoenix and a step towards a Masters degree. And while goals and plans are wonderful, it's kinda sweet to see what each new year brings. Well, till 50 anyway...... :)

PS So please don't tell my dad about the tattoo! :)