Completely Covered

But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head ~ Psalm 3:3

I like to be safe, I really really do. I don't like to be hurt. Or scared. Or make myself too vulnerable. Protected. That's what I like. Guarded. And I've been a genius at building walls so I will be safe.... or so I thought. Why is it that when we build walls to protect ourself, we end up being hurt all the more?

This morning I sat down with my tea, opened my Bible and read over the verse above in Psalms. It is a verse I've known for years and yet for some reason I kept staring at it this morning. I didn't turn the page or divert my eyes to another highlighted scripture, but rather focused in on the word "shield." A shield, a protector from an enemy's attack. How perfectly wonderful is it that God is described as that? I thought about last year as I walked through the hardest time in my life. I was a wounded solider. Down. Looking for help. Wondering how I could every possible pull through. I had tried to protect myself. It didn't work. Have you ever been there? Where you feel so beaten that you just pray you have the stength to make it through one more day? I think we all have. I didn't have much to offer, but I began simply to pray the Armor of God verses found in Ephesians 6. I remember when I memorized those verses for Sunday School years ago. We used to act out putting on the belt of truth, or breastplate of righteousness. This time I didn't act it out (really, I didn't!) but I did read through the verses every night and ended with "in all circumstances take up the shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one."

I did a brief search on armor today and found out that in Roman times, soliders used to form what is called a testudo. A testudo was a tortise formation in which the soliders, during seiges, could approach the battlefield covered on every side. Did you catch that? Every single side. The way the grouped together and manuvered their shields, they had shields covering them on top, on the sides, on the front and the back.

Although this picture shows their backs vulnerable, truly the were completely covered on every side. Now the only problem with this formation is that it made it harder for them to engage in hand-to-hand combat.

I was thinking about this testudo formation with the verse in Psalms. I like the visual picture it plays out. We might be sent out to battle, but with God as our shield we are covered on every single side. And the neatest part about it is that not only is He our shield, He is also our warrior. We don't have to worry about the hand-to-hand combat problem because He is covering us while He is fighting for us! Second Chronicles 20:15 says, "Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde for the battle is not yours but God's." It continues in 2 Chronicles 20:17, "You will not need to fight in this battle. Stand firm, hold your position, and see the salvation of the Lord on your behalf."

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we should wimper in a ball in the corner and never try to fight. We are all strong, we are called to fight. But what I am saying is that in the desperate moments when you have done all you can to protect yourself and nothing seems to be working, perhaps this is a time you are supposed to step back. Be vulnerable. Tear down the walls. And let God be your shield, your protector, and fight on your behalf. He'll get you through the battle covered on every side. In Psalm 3, David was fleeing for his life. Everyone was against him including his son. And yet David knew the Lord would sustain him.

Honestly, as I went through grief and desperation last fall, and it felt like I wouldn't get through, I simply put my hope in God. He had seen me through hard times before. I remember quite a few years ago when I was dealing with an eating disorder. I had to walk through that minefield with my Bible in hand. God completely covered me as I walked through. It was daily walking it out in order to overcome it. But, by the grace of God, I did. He fought for me. I overcame. But see now I have the tools to win that specific fight. I saw the game plan, I have the equipment, and I can easily defeat the enemy because God showed me how. I let Him fight for me. And then I let Him equip me.

I'm not sure why I felt the need to write this blog tonight, but what I do want to say to all of those who are like me, who do whatever they can to be safe, whether it be hide, build up walls, or create your own false-sense of protection, remember you do have someone fierce fighting for you and with you tonight. He is going before you, He is covering you on every side, and He will show you the victory. Believe in Him, believe in who He has made you to be, and see Him be the lifter of your head.